{"id":1185,"date":"2026-06-08T05:06:25","date_gmt":"2026-06-08T05:06:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/americanmovershub.com\/?p=1185"},"modified":"2026-06-08T05:06:25","modified_gmt":"2026-06-08T05:06:25","slug":"opinion-helping-young-couples-with-the-challenging-choice-to-start-families","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/americanmovershub.com\/?p=1185","title":{"rendered":"Opinion: Helping young couples with the challenging choice to start families"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Adapted from a longer <\/i>article<\/i> recently published by the Institute for Family Studies, \u201cReady to Parent: Helping Couples Overcome the Fear of Parenthood.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n

Read more Opinion: Maybe a minister of happiness wouldn\u2019t be a bad idea after all<\/a><\/p>\n

Several years ago, some good friends invited me over to their home one warm Sunday evening. We sat on the back porch with a lovely view of the nearby Wasatch Mountains. Their married eldest daughter joined us, and she mentioned she was struggling with the idea of bringing children into the world, even though she loved children and valued motherhood. <\/p>\n

I tried to hide my surprise. She was the go-to babysitter in her neighborhood during her teen years. She had a solid marriage to a good man who also liked children. She was working but did not have a strong career focus. <\/p>\n

Yet she said she just wasn\u2019t sure about parenthood. \u201cIs it really a good idea to bring children into such a crazy world that seems to be falling apart, not to mention a looming environmental catastrophe?\u201d <\/p>\n

She was also worried by simple economics \u2014 could she and her husband provide for their children on a teacher\u2019s salary and in an expensive housing market where they hoped to live? Under these conditions, having children seemed risky, maybe even selfish.<\/p>\n

We had a sensitive conversation that evening as I asked questions and shared research-based perspectives and general wisdom. But that night I became much more aware of \u2014 and sympathetic to \u2014 the real mental load young adults today carry as they wrestle with the choice to bring children into the world. <\/p>\n

Personal fertility as a public concern<\/h3>\n

The concerns I heard that evening are making the news now. The New York Timeshas run four stories on fertility decisions over the last month, including an article about the decreasing fertility rate in the United States that explored how contemporary young adults are wrestling with the child-free vs. child-full lifestyle. <\/p>\n

What is driving decisions to reduce the number of children or forgo parenthood altogether? <\/p>\n

For one, parenthood is no longer seen and accepted as a societal norm \u2014 at least not to the same degree as in the past. Pew found in 2024 that the No. 1 reason younger adults were hesitating to have children was that they \u201cjust don\u2019t want to\u201d (57%), which was followed by \u201cjust want to focus on other things\u201d (44%) and \u201cdon\u2019t really like children\u201d (20%). <\/p>\n

A second contributor to child hesitance is that a quarter of young adults (24%) say they \u201chaven\u2019t found the right partner.\u201d This response suggests a desire to be parents but a sensible decision to not do it alone. (Thus, my interest in trying to fix the current dating recession.)<\/p>\n

But the other reasons documented in this poll are even more intriguing to me, including \u201cconcerns about the state of the world\u201d (38%), \u201ccan\u2019t afford to raise a child\u201d (36%) and \u201cconcerns about the environment\u201d (26%). <\/p>\n

Empathy for those grappling with this decision<\/h3>\n

Yes, many couples today simply don\u2019t want children, preferring to prioritize work, independence, time for leisure and the couple relationship over the admittedly heavy demands and lofty expectations of 21st-century parenting. I get it. <\/p>\n

But my thoughts are drawn to the other group of child-hesitant couples, who generally would welcome children and parenthood but struggle to get over the mental hump of whether it is even a good idea these days. <\/p>\n

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I\u2019m deeply sympathetic to this generation of young couples, who are open to parenthood but who experience less cultural support for that choice than in the past and have greater fears about how it will impact their lives. <\/p>\n

Read more Why 4 in 10 Utah teens aren\u2019t talking to their parents<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

I\u2019m pretty pronatalist. I think rearing children may be the most soul-stretching, meaningful and transformative choice we have in the range of human experience, as well as one of the most significant concrete contributions we may ultimately make to humanity. <\/p>\n

Human life \u2014 in the image of God \u2014 is itself an inherent good and is something that doesn\u2019t straightforwardly lend itself to rational, economic analysis. <\/p>\n

All this is true, and yet I\u2019m deeply sympathetic to this generation of young couples, who are open to parenthood but who experience less cultural support for that choice than in the past and have greater fears about how it will impact their lives. <\/p>\n

Gentle encouragement and wise education<\/h3>\n

So, what more can we do? These thoughts bounced around my head for several years and eventually became a prime motivation for tasking the Utah Marriage Commission (of which I am a member) to develop an online course designed to help young couples today name their hesitations and concerns about becoming parents, hold them up against the research, talk together about them, and come to a more settled decision point. <\/p>\n

This balanced, sympathetic, research-based online course, called ParenthoodREADY, is self-paced, with regular pauses for self-reflection and deep couple discussion. The course is free for Utahns and costs $100 for individuals or couples outside the state. The class takes on the important questions many couples today have about parenthood, including: <\/p>\n