{"id":3574,"date":"2026-07-11T18:36:37","date_gmt":"2026-07-11T18:36:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/americanmovershub.com\/?p=3574"},"modified":"2026-07-11T18:36:37","modified_gmt":"2026-07-11T18:36:37","slug":"opinion-you-should-go-to-your-high-school-reunion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/americanmovershub.com\/?p=3574","title":{"rendered":"Opinion: You should go to your high school reunion"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

There are many sensible reasons to stay away from a high school reunion. Finances and schedules may be tight. Belts may be even tighter, and wrinkles may finally be staging a revolt against any cover-up job. <\/p>\n

Read more How you can celebrate 60 years of Slurpees<\/a><\/p>\n

Personal regrets and challenging memories can also make attending a reunion feel counterintuitive \u2014 even more so when current life circumstances are especially difficult. <\/p>\n

There are a lot of knocks against gathering with old classmates. But it might be good to go anyway \u2014 for lots of reasons. As modern society fragments into monocultural interest groups, attending a reunion of any kind is a radical act of broader solidarity and community. <\/p>\n

Especially when the past was challenging, gathering like this can be surprisingly healing. What\u2019s better than fresh, healthier experiences with people from our past to place hurtful memories truly behind us? <\/p>\n

One of the most well-known drivers of trauma healing, according to expert Bessel van der Kolk, is simply having new experiences that are positive. <\/p>\n

There\u2019s no guarantee of that outcome, of course. Bethany Clary reflected on social media about feeling out of place at her 20th reunion due to broader factors outside of her high school experience in Kentucky. \u201cI doubt I\u2019m the only person who has ever quietly felt out of place, unwelcome, or unable to comfortably afford attending these events.\u201d <\/p>\n

\u2018I hated high school\u2019<\/h3>\n

As her own 20th reunion at Viewmont High School in Bountiful, Utah, approached in 2016, Amy Royall kept seeing posts by others expressing excitement about attending. So she decided to be honest about her own feelings on a Facebook page for her class of 1996: \u201cYou will not see me there. I hated high school.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI never got asked to one dance (and) not because I didn\u2019t know anyone,\u201d she wrote. \u201cThere\u2019s only like 2 or 3 of you that I\u2019ve talked to in twenty years and even then, it\u2019s like once a year. I don\u2019t care what you\u2019re doing, you don\u2019t care what I\u2019m doing. Let\u2019s leave it at that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m glad someone finally said what a bunch of us are thinking,\u201d Jonalynn Hansen responded. Others chimed in, like Jill Asay: \u201cYeah, high school wasn\u2019t the happiest time of my life either.\u201d<\/p>\n

With that self-reinforcing social media echo chamber kicking in, Royall had never felt more sure of her feelings. But then something else happened. <\/p>\n

Others started to share.<\/p>\n

Stunned by how classmates really felt<\/h3>\n

\u201cI always thought you were so popular and had so many friends,\u201d wrote Jessica Andersen. \u201cI had no idea you felt this way until now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wonder if high school is just really hard for a lot of kids,\u201d added Kristin Willingham Dirkmaat. \u201cI always thought it was just me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Others expressed regrets: \u201cA lot of us did stupid stuff in high school. We were young and learning how to treat people,\u201d said Eric Last. \u201cHopefully most of us have grown up and are better adults than we were kids.\u201d<\/p>\n

Royall was still undeterred. Pushing back, she wrote, \u201cLook, people of my past, I\u2019m happy. And I have no desire to go back to a place where I wasn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure everyone has grown up and turned out to be great people.\u201d <\/p>\n

But her classmates weren\u2019t going to let Royall off that easy. \u201cBy going to the reunion you allow all of us to get past the B.S.,\u201d Jared Ericksen wrote. \u201cI\u2019m going to the reunion to get to know people I didn\u2019t know well in high school, not to hang out with my best friends.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s nice sometimes to just say, \u2018hey, I\u2019m glad you\u2019re still on the planet,\u2019\u201d Jeremy Johnson remarked. \u201cI hope you reconsider and we see you there.\u201d<\/p>\n

After seeing the reunion announcement, Andrea Cahill admitted that many early insecurities had come up. But then she said, \u201cI could care less how I look now. I just care about people. I\u2019ve decided it\u2019s more important to be a good person than to look good. That\u2019s what I think growing up is. \ud83d\ude42\u201d<\/p>\n

Read more Eagle Point owner vows to rebuild after Cottonwood Fire devastates community<\/a><\/p>\n

Nearly 450 comments later, Royall threw in the towel. She decided to go to the reunion after all \u2014 stunned by how many people remembered her and told her they would love to see her. <\/p>\n

And how did the reunion go? Royall told the Deseret News that all night people came up to talk with her \u201cthat I never would have talked to before in high school ever.\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cIn high school you don\u2019t know who you are,\u201d she reflected, \u201cand I never really went out of my way to talk to anyone. And if they didn\u2019t talk to me, I just thought, \u2018well, they don\u2019t like me then.\u2019 But that probably wasn\u2019t the case at all.\u201d <\/p>\n

Christine Nelson described reading the many responses to Royall\u2019s viral Facebook post with her teenage daughter, which \u201chelped her see that what we perceive isn\u2019t always the case as she struggles to survive the drama that is junior high.\u201d<\/p>\n

Surprising common ground<\/h3>\n

By a 20th or 30th reunion, of course \u2014 and maybe even by the 10th \u2014 most classmates know for themselves how complicated life really can be. Royall felt surprised by \u201chow many people had gotten sick or had kids that had gotten sick\u201d along with other \u201cmajor life things like divorce and depression.\u201d<\/p>\n

Regardless of differing politics or theology, this sense of shared suffering and humanity can become a surprising common ground, effectively acting as a powerful social equalizer. <\/p>\n

For any of us, a quietly dawning awareness as we age that life is short can lower defenses, nudge us to release adolescent grudges and increase empathy.<\/p>\n

Stanford psychologist Laura Carstensen reports that as people age and realize their time horizons are narrowing, they naturally shift away from status-seeking and social competition to instead prioritize deeper, emotionally meaningful connections.<\/p>\n

Gathering with \u201cpeople of our past\u201d thus offers a rare, tangible space to discover for yourself that beneath the old high school hierarchies, everyone was just trying to find their way through the dark.<\/p>\n

If awkward, even painful, memories remain from high school, join the club. Let those motivate your participation \u2014 with an openness to new, positive, healing interactions \u2014 rather than acting as a mental excuse to keep you away. <\/p>\n

Cornell University gerontologist Karl Pillemer, who has spent years studying how people heal deep relational rifts, notes that reconciliation becomes possible when a focus on the shared present begins to supersede any rumination about the past. <\/p>\n

A need to remember<\/h3>\n

Emily Boyle, president of the Viewmont class of 1996 (which I also attended), believes that there\u2019s \u201csomething deep in us \u2014 a need \u2014 to both remember and be remembered.\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cUltimately, we all have a need to feel like we matter,\u201d she told the Deseret News. \u201cI think we all have that ability inside of us to remind other people that they are seen, they\u2019re remembered, and they matter.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe feeling that we feel when we see a face that we haven\u2019t seen for a long time is remarkable.\u201d<\/p>\n

You might not be sold yet, but Amy Royall sure is. With her 30th reunion coming up this fall, she\u2019s planning to attend \u2014 and maybe even nudge other classmates to give it a chance too. <\/p>\n

Read more Analysis: The red-blue illusion \u2014 American voters are far more complex than their parties<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One woman who \u201chated high school\u201d ended up loving her reunion. 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