Come to an activity at the married student housing at Brigham Young University, and you will be blown away by the number of young fathers holding newborns in casual football holds, tossing babies in the air or balancing toddlers on their shoulders. They are clearly in love with this stage of life, despite the demands of early parenthood.
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I watch my husband, Porter, lovingly play with our 2-month-old son, clearly finding deep purpose in his role as a dad. But a look at the data shows that this scene is becoming more of an anomaly in America — and its absence carries a heavy cost.
David Brooks has famously argued that the isolated nuclear family is fragile and that humans historically thrived in extended, “thick” community networks. Ranked No. 1 in social capital, Utah has exceptionally “thick” community and religious networks — so much so that its single-mother rate is nearly one-third lower than the national average.
But does this make the nuclear family, with a father and mother, somehow less important? Can “forged families” fully replace the roles of fathers?
In 2025, scholars from the University of Virginia, the Brookings Institution and several other institutions released a landmark study on the impact of fatherhood on childhood mental health and behavioral challenges in Virginia.
After Utah family policymakers saw a need for similar data in the state, I set out to explore the same questions working with BYU’s School of Family Life. The results were startling.
In Utah, roughly 80% of children grow up in intact, father-present homes — defined as living with both biological or adoptive parents. While the 20% who don’t have a father at home are less likely to live in poverty compared to the national average, our data showed that even the strongest community safety net in America cannot fully substitute for a present father.
That is especially evident when it comes to a child’s grades and mental health. In Utah, a dad in the home means a child is more than twice as likely to get straight As (48% vs 20%). But if that dad is missing, Utah kids actually struggle more academically than the national average.
Children in father-present homes, both in Utah and nationally, are also less likely to be diagnosed with depression. Utah children ages 4 to 17 in father-absent homes experience depression at almost triple the rate (14%) compared with homes where a father is present (5%). This also mirrors the national stats on childhood depression (10% in fatherless homes, 4% in homes with a father).
Boys are particularly vulnerable to what Jenet Erickson called “relational poverty,” with 13% of boys in father-absent homes diagnosed with depression compared to just 5% of boys in intact families. Girls also experience higher rates of depression without a father at home, but the contrast is less sharp, probably because girls are more likely to be diagnosed in the first place.
Our best data makes it clear that fathers provide a unique form of relational capital that helps both boys and girls steer clear of depression and emotional instability, independent of the family’s bank account.
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Fathers provide a unique form of relational capital that helps both boys and girls steer clear of depression and emotional instability.
As we encourage father-present homes, it’s worth getting more specific: What does it mean for a dad to be truly present? This is about more than just occupying a seat at the dinner table. In varying ways, dads who are emotionally present can be a critical influence in forming their children’s character. For example, research suggests that fathers who are willing to stop and enjoy rough-and-tumble play with their children teach boys and girls how to manage their emotions in appropriate ways and respond constructively to challenges.
Additionally, there appears to be a special impact from highly involved fathers in preparing children to deal with life. This often happens through conversations about work, politics and future plans. In practice, this may look like keeping children accountable for grades and behavior. Even the way fathers hold their children as infants (on their shoulders, upside down) exposes them to different physical perspectives that can prime them to be more flexible in approaching problems from different angles later on.
Brooks is right: When it comes to discussing the problems facing our country, we don’t talk about family enough because Americans have become uncomfortable saying definitively what strong family life requires andno longer share a clear vision of what family life should look like.
But if fathers are as critical to healthy child development as this research suggests, both emotionally and academically, perhaps we should do more to help men (and everyone) catch a larger vision of their value.
My husband has been my biggest cheerleader since I gave birth to our first child, and I love watching him father our son. Porter frequently tells me that he has never been happier, even though he’s the one volunteering to change as many diapers as possible!
Being a father is a powerful motivator and source of joy for him. In his words, “Dads do a lot for babies, but babies do a lot for dads.” I can already see how Porter’s participation in our child’s upbringing is invaluable. That’s true for my son and for each of our childhoods.
Those raised without this kind of stable, loving influence of a father can still find strong mentorship and fatherly support in other places. And none of this is to suggest those wounds can’t ever heal.
But the impact of a father’s absence or aggression is real — and needs to be taken seriously.
Money and community can replace a paycheck, but they can’t replace a dad. This Father’s Day, let’s recognize that a father’s most important contribution to his children is more than his revenue. It’s his presence in the home.
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